Note: This is set late in season three, after Adam has revealed to Brennan and Shalimar that he's alive, but before Jesse knows.  Anyway, I got annoyed by the show and Adam's stupid trust games and whatnot, and I started scribbling out an outline for what if during this time something bad happened to Jesse and he felt he had nobody to turn to.  At some point, my little notes phased into an actual scene. Oh, and this story idea isn't slash.  I suppose you could make it slash, but that's not where I was headed with it.  I was just playing with misunderstandings. ----- Jesse is acting weird, started going out every night, not come back until dawn Shal talks to Bren about it Next night, Jess leaves again, tells Lexa not to wait up for him when she asks where he's going Shal wakes Bren  "Jesse went out again.  I'm going to follow him." "First off, Shal, shouldn't we trust Jesse to come to us if something's going on with him?"  She gave him a harsh look and he got out of bed.  "Fine, but I'm coming with you." Bump into Lexa on way out  "Guys, we need to talk." "Not now." "It's about Jesse." "What about Jesse?" "I think you're right.  I think we should be worried."  She held out several sheets of paper.  "I was just sent these by the Dominion." Brennan took the printouts.  It was a copy of some kind of legal document.  "What is this?" "When Jesse was younger, his parents set up a rather substantial trust fund for him," Lexa began.  Shalimar nodded while Brennan read over the papers and was frowning.  "Last week, ten thousand dollars was taken from the account.  This afternoon, it was drained completely." Shalimar snatched the printouts from Brennan.  "By whom?"  She turned to the last page and stared at the signature on it.  Jesse Kilmartin.  "This can't be right." "The Dominion checked the security cameras at the bank," Lexa informed them grimly.  "Jesse was there both today and last week." Shal "I'm gonna go find him and get some answers." Bren "No, I'll go.  If he thinks one of us is tailing him, he'll be looking for you, Shal." Lexa "He turned off his comlink when he left." Bren "But he took one of the cars."  They all had GPS tracking systems.   Lexa "We'll trace it and let you know where it parks." Bren follows to bad part of town, the polite name for which was the sex, drugs, and rock and roll district.  In reality, it was mainly just the sex and drugs. Lexa over comlink "Sounds like a place where people could form expensive habits." Shal "Not Jesse." Lexa "He's been through a lot lately with Emma and Adam's deaths, seeing his old fiancée again, dealing with the Dominion...  Look, all I'm saying is how well do you really know Jesse?" Shal "I know he'd have to be on drugs to be on drugs!" ----- Bren tracks Jess to a brothel, describe him, told he's a regular, always stays the full night, always with the same one, Chris, room at the end of the hall Brennan frowned deeply.  Jesse was with a prostitute.  None of this made any sense at all.  Jesse wasn't the type.  Even if he were, Jesse was a fairly good-looking guy.  It's not as though he'd need to pay for it.  Brennan shook his head.  No way.  There was no way Jesse was paying for sex. However, Jesse was the type who'd be helping an old friend get out of the business.  Or he might have met some girl before finding out what she did for a living.  Or a lot of things really... There was a perfectly reasonable explanation for this, Brennan told himself yet again.  He'd just go ask Jesse about it. He determinedly walked down the hall, past the sounds of moaning and crying out - the sound of sex - and found himself in front of the last door.  He'd just open it and get his answer.  No big deal. After taking a deep breath, Brennan finally pushed open the door, somewhat surprised to find it unlocked.  Although maybe brothels didn't put locks on their doors for a reason.  Brennan practically shuddered at that thought.  Then the door was forgotten entirely when he heard the very distinct sound of Jesse gasping. He never should have opened that door.  Jesse gasped again, his breathing heavy.  And Brennan stared.  His friend was lying on the bed, completely unaware of Brennan's presence.  His head was tossed back, eyes closed, and his breaths were deep and fast.  It almost looked like he was in pain instead of pleasure, but it was difficult to tell considering his face was being cupped in somebody's palm. It was the somebody who left Brennan standing in a stunned state of shock in the doorway.  He could accept that Jesse was lying in bed with some whore in a brothel.  Fine, didn't matter.  And he could accept that the top several buttons of Jesse's shirt were open and he was arching up against the hand which rested on his chest.  That wasn't a problem.  Neither was the meretricious outfit of the prostitute. The problem was that when the man had told him Jesse was with Chris, it had never crossed Brennan's mind that Chris wasn't short for something like Christina.  He had never expected to find this.  He'd never thought Jesse would be... He'd never thought he'd discover his friend with another man. ----- Brennan was still gaping and wishing he'd never opened the door when "Chris" turned to look over his shoulder at him, seemingly sensing that he was being watched. The man studied Brennan right back for a moment.  "I'd tell you to go to another room if you like to watch," Chris told him, "but you're not here for that, are you?" Brennan didn't know what to say, and the other man smiled. "You're here for him?"  Chris nodded down at Jesse who was resting below him, still apparently oblivious that he and Chris weren't alone.  "Yes, I see that you are.  But you should probably come back later." Then he turned back to Jesse, merely dismissing Brennan. Brennan spun around and pulled the door shut behind him.  He'd already seen more than he wanted to.  He was going home, and he didn't even want to think of what the hell he was supposed to tell Shalimar and Lexa, or how he was going to deal with being around Jesse later. This whole situation was just wrong. A short cry came from the room he'd just left, and Brennan paused.  That one had definitely been pain.  He instantly was through that door once more before allowing himself to think better of it.  Jesse was *not* the type.  He seemed to be telling himself that a lot tonight. Chris was still bent over Jesse, his expression one of intense concentration.  His palm was now glowing where it was pressed to the side of Jesse's face.  Jesse suddenly screamed, his voice choked. Chris spoke to Brennan without looking up.  "This doesn't concern you.  Get out." But this time, Brennan wasn't leaving.  Jesse's entire body was tense, and his hands clutched into fists around the sheets beneath him, twisting the material tightly.  It was then that Brennan noticed the track marks on his arm. "Oh god..." Brennan whispered as Jesse's face contorted in agony.  It immediately crossed Brennan's mind that his friend wasn't necessarily here willingly.  And even if he was, he still needed help. He quickly reached to pull Chris away from Jesse.  "What the hell are you doing to him?" he demanded, furious.   The glow ceased as Chris' hand lost contact with Jesse's skin, and Jesse's arched body fell limp against the mattress, his breathing quieting.  His trembling fingers uncurled slightly from the sheets. "I only did what he asked for," Chris responded, glaring at Brennan. "No," Brennan said, rushing to lean over his friend.  "Jesse wouldn't ask you to hurt him." "The pain was already there."  Chris shrugged.  "I'm just paid to help him understand it." Brennan ignored him, too worried about Jesse.  There was no way Jesse shouldn't have noticed Brennan yet.  But he still lay with his eyes closed.  Brennan pushed the sweat-damp hair back from his forehead.  "Jesse, wake up." "You should let me finish."  Chris crossed his arms over his chest and stared at Brennan. Brennan shoved himself up from the bedside and turned on Chris.  "Finish what?" Brennan asked angrily. "Hey, you can spark up and threaten me if you'd like, but it won't change the fact that I'm only giving him what he paid for."  Chris suddenly grinned.  "He has me on call 24/7 for him, but he never said I can't be with others when he isn't using me, so maybe you want to come back later.  Maybe there's something you want.  Something you'd give anything for like he is." Brennan pushed Chris away from him.  "You're a goddamn psionic."  He'd known Brennan was there before seeing him, and he also knew Brennan was an elemental.  "Stay out of my head." "Maybe you want the same thing," the voice was now soft and feminine.  "Maybe you both want me to be her." Brennan was now looking at haunting blue eyes set in a beautiful face.  He gazed longingly at her before forcing himself to look away.  "Stop it...  You're not her." "But I can be," her voice replied.  "Sure, the body technically stays the same, but I can make your mind see anything... feel anything." Brennan wanted to hit him.  Yet he couldn't while Chris was wearing that face.  "I said stop," Brennan ordered, his tone lacking the strength he'd intended.  His demand had come out rather weakly. "I can forgive you for her," the psionic continued.  "I can let you tell her how sorry you are for not protecting her.  I can let you say goodbye." The temptation was strong and Brennan's thoughts sickened him.  "No." The face before him smiled an all too familiar little smile.  "I can let you be with her like you two never were," Chris said suggestively.  "For a price." That was the final straw.  Outraged, Brennan's hands coiled up a powerful current.  However much he missed his best friend, this wasn't her.  Wasn't even close.  "You get the fuck out of my head, and Jesse's, right now!" Chris returned to his normal self. Brennan took several deep breaths to calm himself.  "If you ever make yourself look like her again - for anyone - I'll kill you."  Brennan lowered his hands.  "Are we clear?" Chris nodded.  "Perfectly."  He fetched a pack of cigarettes from the small table beside the bed and tapped one out.  He glanced at Brennan with a smirk.  "You mind giving me a light?" At that moment, Jesse moaned and seemed to come around.  Brennan was instantly at his side, helping him to sit up.  Jesse squinted at him in confusion.  "Brennan?" "Yeah," Brennan answered.  "Come on, get up.  We're leaving." Jesse blinked a few times.  "I can't." Brennan frowned.  "Can't what?  Can't get up or can't leave?" "Both," Jesse mumbled.  "What are you doing here anyway?  You followed me." "And it's a good thing I did."  Brennan started to pull Jesse's arm over his shoulders in order to support him as he stood up. "You should let him sleep it off," Chris remarked, although he watched apathetically as Brennan ignored him.  He shrugged with indifference. Once he was on his feet, Jesse took his arm away from Brennan.  He seemed to remember the track marks were still visible and rushed to retrieve his jacket.  He looked almost ashamed as he pulled it on.  Then he moved to follow Brennan out. "Hey," Chris commented coolly, "you still owe me for the full night, Jess." Brennan shot him an evil look.  So it was "Jess" now? "Right, sorry," Jesse replied sheepishly, getting out his wallet and pulling out a wad of hundreds.  He tossed the payment onto the bed before turning to face Brennan.  "Let's go." Brennan looked in disbelief at Jesse.  That had to have been almost a thousand dollars.  And what was Jesse still paying him for?  But he decided questions could wait until after he got Jesse out of there. They left the building in a tense silence.  Jesse only spoke once they were on the street and heading for where they'd left the cars.  "I'm sorry, Brennan." "There's nothing to apologize for."  Brennan wrapped his arm around Jesse again as he swayed slightly.  "Let's just worry about getting you home now, okay?" "Good idea," Jesse agreed quietly before leaning heavily against Brennan and cringing in pain. Brennan moved so that he could see Jesse's face.  His friend looked exhausted.  "Damn, that bastard really worked you over." "You should have let him finish."  Jesse met Brennan's eyes only for a second before looking away. "What?"  Brennan stared intently at him.  "Jesse, is he still controlling you somehow?" Jesse shook his head.  "You don't understand any of this, Brennan." "So make me understand."  If there was something going on, why wasn't Jesse just explaining it? After a pause, Jesse eventually did speak.  "I went to him because I wanted to.  I sought him out; he never manipulated me."  Jesse watched Brennan for his reaction.   It took a long time for those words to sink in.  Then Brennan let go of Jesse and decked him right across his jaw.  He obviously hadn't expected it and stumbled back several steps.  "You son of a bitch." "You mind telling me what that was for?" Jesse asked, somehow still calm.  He rubbed his face and opened and closed his mouth several times as if experimenting to see whether or not Brennan had knocked out any teeth and if he'd be able to eat tomorrow. Chris had said Jesse wanted him to be her.  If that were true, Brennan wanted to strangle his friend.  "How could you do that, Jesse?"  He cast him a troubled and beseeching look.  "She was your friend.  Don't you have any respect for that, for her?  Don't you...  God, Jesse, how could you?" "Brennan, I--" Jesse started only to be cut off. "I can't hear this right now, Jesse!"  He dug out the Mustang keys and unlocked the car.  Jesse could drive himself home.  His car was parked right beside Brennan's, and Brennan didn't care if he was in no condition to be behind the wheel.  "I can't hear this ever.  I loved her, she was like family, and you..." He couldn't even say it.  Hell, he didn't think he could say anything to Jesse ever again... unless it was said in anger.  "She was my best friend.  From the day I met her until the day she died...  And you...  You know what, you're only my friend by default because now she's gone.  Actually, you aren't my friend at all.  I don't know you." "It's not what you think," Jesse called after him, stung by his words.  "It is *so* not what you think," he added. Brennan opened his car door but didn't get in.  He waited for Jesse to continue. "I would never do that, Brennan," Jesse swore.  "I didn't ask him to look like Emma." Brennan slammed the door and turned around.  "Then what did you ask him?" he insisted.  "You know no matter what he looked like, he's still a guy, right?  Do you have any idea how many levels on which this is sick?" "Yes, Brennan, I'm well aware that Chris is a man."  Jesse sighed and stared at him.  "I should have just told you.  It would have been easier if I'd been honest with you from the start." Brennan wasn't sure he liked where this conversation was going.  "Honest about what, Jesse?" "About being scared.  I got scared, Bren."  Jesse looked down and wrapped his arms around himself.  "I don't really understand what's happening with me, with my body, and with you, you know, what you felt, and I wanted to talk to you about it, but lately everything has been so strained with all of us... and Lexa... and you and Shal have been closer with each other than me, and I feel so alone and frightened, and I just freaked out." "Oh."  Brennan took another moment to register that and try to figure out a way to respond.  "Oh, I didn't know that you...  But I'm fine with it, really.  It's just a surprise is all, ya know.  Because I had no idea.  But I'm still your friend.  Only just a friend, though.  You know I'm not...  What I mean is that you know I'm straight, right?  Well, yeah, obviously you know that I like girls - women, I mean, not like girls as in young girls or anything like that - and what am I saying, of course you know that.  So back to my point, though, is that you could have told me this before.  I'm okay about it.  And Shal will understand also.  It doesn't change anything, okay?  Lexa might have issues, I don't know her well enough to say, but if she does then screw her, right?" Jesse furrowed his brow in bewilderment.  "What the hell are you talking about?" "You being, you know... gay."  Brennan shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other.  "I might need some time to adjust, maybe a lot of time, but I'm okay with it.  I'll be okay with it." "What?  No."  Jesse shook his head.  "You can stop acting like an awkward idiot, Bren.  I'm not gay; I'm dying." "Oh thank god."  Brennan felt a sudden sense of relief that he wasn't going to have to adjust to his best friend being gay and possibly having a crush on him. Jesse watched his expression and flinched before growing upset.  "Shit, Brennan, I just told you I'm DYING!  Who would have thought that would be preferable to my being gay?!" Brennan hadn't even really heard it the first time.  That wasn't possible.  "Jess, you're fine.  I mean, you aren't sick or anything.  You're not dying." "Do you ever think before speaking?"  Jesse angrily spun around and bumped into another parked vehicle, setting off the alarm.  He cursed and then just leaned against it, putting his head in his hands. Brennan sprinted over and zapped the car to silence the alarm.  Then he rested his hand on Jesse's shoulder. Jesse looked up at him, exhausted and not wanting to yell anymore.  "What happened with you back when we needed to rescue the Senator's daughter, when your powers spun out of control, well, turns out I'm next.  Always one step behind you, aren't I, Bren?  And it took Adam and Emma to help you, but I don't have that, I don't have them.  I have nobody."  He sighed bitterly, still frustrated with Brennan.  "But hey, thank God I'm not gay." Brennan cringed at the harsh bite in that last comment.  Then he gazed long and hard at Jesse in the dim light.  He really didn't look well.  And the pieces that were there suddenly fell into place.  This was why Jesse was acting weird, had emptied his bank account, and was seeing a psionic.  "You really are sick." Jesse nodded slowly.  "Yeah." "I'm taking you to a doctor," Brennan said with the intention of doing it right then.   "I've already been," Jesse replied simply.  "Who do you think told me that the problems I've been having are due to the fact that my mutation is killing me?  I saw Dr. Marcus, several times." "So he's helping you, right?  And Chris?  They're able to fix this?" Brennan asked with deep concern.  He wasn't ready yet to face that Jesse could truly be dying. Jesse rested his forehead against the car.  "No.  Unlike with you, it's not just a matter of control.  I can still control my powers - it just hurts to use them.  And now it hurts even when I don't.  I'm taking Ashlocke's route.  My mutancy is physically too much for my body to adapt to.  All Dr. Marcus could do was offer me drugs that help with the pain and possibly slow things down, but he can't stop it.  Same with Chris; he's only helping me control the pain." "Jess, you're not going to die."  Brennan gently rubbed his back.  "You should have told me." "Just take me home, okay?"  Jesse stopped leaning against the stranger's car and headed for the Mustang which Brennan had dubbed as his ever since his arrival at Sanctuary when he'd first laid eyes on Adam's garage. "Okay," Brennan answered, feeling useless.  "But, um, about what I said... You are my friend, Jess.  I never should have said what I did.  I suppose I've been mixed up a bit tonight." "A bit?" Jesse repeated, pausing his stride. "A lot," Brennan admitted somewhat uneasily.  "But we're still cool, right?  I mean, we won't mention my thinking that maybe... my sucking at basketball... meant more to you than it did to me?" Jesse tried to roll his eyes and look exasperated with him, but he couldn't help a small laugh.  "Can we go home now, Bren?" "Yes, good idea," Brennan replied quickly, resuming the walk back to the car. Jesse followed but only made it a few steps before collapsing.  Brennan instantly caught him and eased him to the ground.  "Jess, what's wrong?" he said nervously.  "How can I help?" "I just got dizzy for a minute."  Jesse tried to sit up.  "I'm fine." "Bullshit, Jess."  Brennan had to support him before he ended up right back on the ground.  "You just fainted.  Don't tell me that you're fine." "I didn't faint.  I'm just tired, alright?  It's the middle of the night.  So can we please go home now and..."  He stared at Brennan who was looking at him strangely.  "What?" "You're bleeding," Brennan stated, now beyond worried.  In fact, horrified would be much closer to summing up how he felt at the moment.  Just a few hours ago, he'd thought Jesse was fine.  This all was too fresh for him to deal with yet. Jesse quickly reached up and wiped above his lip, then he looked at his bloody fingers for a full twenty seconds before snapping out of it and wiping at the blood again.  "Well, this one's new," he said, trying to make light of it, but it was clear he was terrified. Brennan helped him to stand up.  "I think there are tissues in the car."  He led Jesse to the Mustang and was shoving a fistful of Kleenex at him as soon as he got in. Jesse tilted his head back to help stop the nosebleed.  He muttered a "thanks" to Brennan for the tissues.   Brennan leaned over him and buckled his seatbelt for him.  "I'm getting you help, Jess," he said before closing Jesse's door and walking around to the driver's side of the car. He ran his hand through his hair in agitation before activating his comlink.  "Shal..." "I hope you have some answers for us, Bren," her voice replied. He opened his car door and got in, starting up the engine.  "Yeah, I do." "So what the hell is going on, Bren?"  She sounded afraid.  "Lexa and I went through Jesse's stuff and there's..."  Shalimar's voice cut off with what sounded like a choked back sob. Jesse looked at Brennan before leaning his head back once more.  "I guess you all know now." "Listen, Shal, I'm taking Jesse to Dr. Marcus," Brennan told her before casting a furtive glance at Jesse.  It was time to throw everybody's secrets out on the table.  "I want you to find a way to contact Adam.  Get him to meet us there." "How do you know about--" "Shal, he's been in touch with you, I put two and two together.  So just do it.  And if he won't show up there in person tonight, tell him to never contact me again."  He closed the comlink. Jesse gaped at him.  "Brennan... Adam is dead." Brennan shifted the car into reverse and pulled out onto the road.  Then he threw it roughly into drive and headed for Dr. Marcus' lab.  Adam wasn't dead.  He'd just really dropped the ball this time. ----- "ADAM!" Shalimar shouted.  "I know you're monitoring our comlinks, so answer me!" "Why didn't you tell me Adam Kane is still alive," Lexa demanded.  She didn't enjoy being left in the dark. Shalimar glared at her.  "Lexa, not now!" At that moment, Adam's hologram appeared behind her, and she spun around.  "I see you and Brennan have decided to tell everybody what I asked you not to," he said to Shalimar. "Why didn't you tell me Brennan knew?" Shalimar asked in a huff. "I have my reasons," he replied.  "You need to trust me." "Trust you," she shouted back.  "How?  What are you playing at here, Adam?  I'm tired of it!  It's always about some agenda with you now.  Do you even care about us at all anymore?" "Shalimar, you know I do." "No, I don't know."  She wiped a tear from her cheek.  "You care that we help with your plans, but you don't care about us." "That isn't true." Lexa opened her mouth, but Shalimar cut her off before she could get a single word into the conversation.  "It is true!  If you cared, you'd know." "Know about what?" She stormed from her room to Jesse's, not even thinking about whether or not Adam's hologram could project in other rooms.  She yanked open Jesse's dresser drawer so quickly that the drawer came free and its contents dumped out.  Containers of pills, vials, and syringes scattered all over the floor.  The medication was all prescription, all with the name Jesse Kilmartin printed on the labels.  Not one had Adam's name as the prescribing doctor. "About this!" Shalimar screamed, blaming Adam for failing to notice what she'd also missed. ----- This is where I stopped writing.  I have several different ideas on where this story could go from here, but seeing as it could be taken a thousand different paths, I'm not going to provide further outline because by now you've probably got an idea of what you want to do if you're thinking about adopting.  However, I'm more than happy to discuss possible endings, just e-mail me.